Introverts are often a group of people who are misunderstood. They hardly communicate socially. They are calm and shy. Being around many people and talking for long hours tends to drain their energy; They are always self-aware of their words and actions; They enjoy being alone and are often drawn to jobs that require a certain level of independence.
Introverts are said to make up about 40 percent of the world’s population, and because they can be calm and reserved, it can be difficult to assume their next course of action. Sometimes, they may be seen as rude.
On the other hand, extroverts are the exact opposite of introverts. While extroverts are social creatures, introverts are definitely not. Extroverts may love small talk, but introverts hate it.
Interestingly, introverts and extroverts seem to be drawn to each other, which is why it’s common to see an introvert dating or married to an extrovert.
However, due to the way introverts deal with it, it can sometimes be difficult to understand, especially by extreme extroverted partners. This is why it is important to note the following tips on how to deal with it.
Accept your introverted partner for who they are
Stephanie Mackenzie, life and relationship coach at The Relationship Firm, Texas, USA, said the most important piece of advice for dealing with an introvert is to accept them for who they are.
“Accepting an introvert for who they are is the key to making it all work. An introvert may not be the life of the party, the social butterfly, or the great group conversation.
“However, they may be very polite, quietly entertaining in social situations, and very intuitive sometime after your socializing. In other words, look at your introverted spouse for who he or she is and appreciate the good,” MacKenzie wrote on Glamor. .com.
Acknowledge your differences from the start
Psychologist Ashley Papa writes in Business Insider that knowing basic personality differences helps couples be more aware of their partner’s feelings and expectations.
After acknowledging the differences, suggest not pushing too hard or trying to change an introverted partner.
“It doesn’t matter who’s introverted or extroverted in a relationship, you can’t change them,” she said, adding that balance and understanding were the most important factors for a successful relationship.
A Port Harcourt, Rivers, state marriage counselor, Ms. Epier Clarkson, also advised introverted partners not to have “unjustified” expectations in marriage.
For example, she said, it would be wrong for a husband to compare his introverted partner with a friend who has an extroverted partner.
She said, “Comparison kills marriage. A partner should not compare an introverted wife to someone else. Accept them as they are and find ways to realize their potential. Introverts have areas in which they excel and have their own ways of having fun. You should respect their boundaries and support them in their adventures, and they will reciprocate.”
Let them be if they need to be left alone
Alisha Kirchhoff, relationship coach and university officer at Campaign Urbana, Illinois, USA, said introverts usually want to be left alone sometimes and advised their spouses to let them stay when they need such moments.
“They may only need to recharge when they are socially exhausted. They will come when they are no longer socially exhausted,” she said.
Also, New York marriage and family therapist Reverend Christopher Smith advised introverted partners not to take it personally when their spouses want to be left alone.
“Understand that being an introvert is about where your loved one draws their energy and strength from. They can be a real person and still need time for themselves to step back and recharge,” he said.
Stay close to them at parties
Author and speaker, Bill Corbett, said, “Groups of people, especially large ones, drain energy from an introvert. If you have to attend an event with a lot of people with your introvert husband, keep it brief.
“And after experiencing a gathering or party, be ready for a date where you want to end the night. If you can be together at home or in a quiet environment, your introvert will thank you.”
“Lounging around and not talking is the holy grail of introverts.”
In addition, at parties, spouses are advised to think carefully about how they will introduce their introverted husband to friends.
US-based consultant Lindsay King Miller writes in Cosmopolitan, “If you’re dating (or married) someone who values deep, intimate relationships but gets nervous through short, casual interactions with lots of people, don’t throw a huge party as a way to show your love for your work. And the university and your club mates once.
“Your introverted partner isn’t going to adore everyone in your life, so set your priorities. Decide who your girlfriend really needs to get along with and work to nurture the most important relationships.”
Check them out and encourage them
According to Lagos state marriage counselor, Ms. Bimbo Adebego, the fact that a partner is introverted does not mean that they do not value affection. As in every successful marriage, communication is very basic and not something one does once in a while because one’s partner is an introvert.
Adepeju said, “Letting your introverted lover in a situation outside their comfort zone is never good. Pay attention to their needs and always check in. Check in often to ask how they are doing. Introverts appreciate it when you take the time so notice what they silently communicate to you.”
Rose Hanna, a professor of psychology at California State University in the US, said introverts should not be left alone because they like to be alone.
“Check it out, comment on their outfit, give them something, and they’ll appreciate it,” she said. “Increasing your ability to express emotionally will speak to an introvert’s heart.”
Another relationship expert in Lagos State, Ms. Omusolabe Oladabo, said introverts are usually likable people and should be likable.
She also advised encouraging introverted partners to be open about marriage issues, as introverts may sometimes grapple with issues without telling anyone about them.
She said, “Introverts are loving because I have a husband. They tend to keep a lot of issues secret but their partner should always encourage them to open up. They have an insane amount of energy to house things and solve their own problems. But they still need help.”
“If you are an extrovert who has an introverted spouse, which is common, you should encourage them to open up. Introverts are wonderful people but can be misunderstood if they are not taken care of. Their behaviors. All you need is to study them.”
Allow processing time
US family therapist Ms. Joanne Garrett writes on introvertdear.com that after asking an introverted partner how he or she is feeling or thinking, one should give them some time for internal processing.
“Although you may deal with words outwardly, they tend to process internally without words, and then they will need to translate for you, which takes time and effort. From personal experience, this drives my husband crazy. But he knows me, so he waits, And I love him, so I work hard to produce the words he needs.”
Additionally, Jarrett advised giving introverts “time on their minds.” “Introverts thrive on deep relationships, so after a big party or a day of superficial interaction (like errands or meetings), introverts need a break from sharing. Give them some time without eye contact and conversation. They may not need to be alone, they just need to disengagement”.
Do the exercises from shoulder to shoulder
According to Jarrett, if you need to spend time with an introvert (your needs matter too!) and they seem to need to disengage, do something “together” that doesn’t require face-to-face interaction, like putting together a jigsaw puzzle or cooking a meal.
“There is no set of responses that will work for every introvert in your life. After all, people aren’t squares. But I hope you find something here that will make it easier for you to interact with the introverts in your life. I’d love to hear your suggestions or hear which ones resonated the most with you.” “.
“It is normal and acceptable for an introvert to want to read, play solitary games, take walks alone, and do other solo activities. This does not necessarily mean that they are depressed or lonely. They enjoy and need loneliness. With friends never, it can sound like criticism or rejection rather than concern.
It’s okay to have separate social areas
Having separate social spheres is generally healthy in relationships, especially in an introverted and extroverted relationship, said Dr. Paul Roy Taylor and Dr. Trishana Sokdeo of Choice Therapy, a New York-based mental health-focused organization.
They wrote, “As spouses, we often have to compromise, but I always say don’t make compromises you can’t live with and don’t make compromises that you don’t even need to make. This certainly applies to your social life. Introverts won’t like some of your friends, that’s okay. With that, you won’t like some of them either.
“Having separate social areas is generally healthy in relationships anyway. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you and your friends doing something fun and extroverted on a Saturday night, and your partner and her friends doing something introverted—or even your partner deciding to stay home while you’re out. When relationships are going strong And each partner understands the other, these types of arrangements are not seen as a threat or a sign of trouble in the relationship.”
Don’t try to convince them
According to Taylor and Sokdeo, introverts don’t like to show off and will spot efforts to impress with the superficial from a mile away.
And they said, “They’ll be more interested in what makes you unique. Tell them what’s on your mind and not what’s going on in your summer house.”
“Introverts don’t like unnecessary drama. If drama and drama is your way of showing love and investing in past relationships, this is not the way introverts do. Boundaries, affirmation, and healthy conflict resolution: This is music for introverts’ ears. This might be one of those ways that introverts can Dating an introvert helps you grow.”
Show that you invested in it
Introverts are usually self-sufficient in many ways. They may have developed skills for dealing with difficult feelings and emotions themselves, and you may wonder why they don’t open up to you right away when they have a problem or a bad day.
“Introverts are better at asking questions than sometimes answering them, so you may need to be more curious at first and show them that you are invested,” Taylor and Sokdeo said.